In this week's edition of "This Week at the Independent," we're serving Campari Cotton Candy, selling Negronis for charity, helping raise money for Colfax K-8's PTO, featuring a live blue grass band, getting irate about the economic origins for the Irish Potato Famine and trying to make a difference, and yes, you read that first one correctly, we're serving Campari Cotton F&*king Candy.
Tuesday: International Fries Night (Support the Greater Pittsburgh Areas Food Bank)
Tonight's International Fries menu welcomes Irish Fries. These fries feature corned beef, cabbage, and stilton cheese, heaped upon our perfectly cooked, fried potatoes.
I'm sure you're waiting for some off-color remark where I riff on the Irish Potato Famine to promote our fries. You won't get one from me, though. The Irish Potato Famine killed an estimated one million people, and displaced an additional million. Those are sobering statistics. Worse yet, Ireland was exporting more than enough grain during the famine to feed the entire country. But grain was a cash crop, and the capitalist pigs who owned the land weren't willing to part with it to feed the starving masses. The next time someone refers to the Irish Potato famine in your presence, correct them. It was no famine It was capitalist genocide.
In light of this history, we're donating one dollar from the sale of every plate of fries tonight to the Greater Pittsburgh Community Food bank.
Wednesday: Support Colfax K-8; Listen to Live Bluegrass
Public Schools matter to us at the Independent. This week, on Wednesday, we're helping to raise money for our local K through 8 public School, Colfax. One dollar from every alcoholic drink will benefit the Colfax Parent-Teacher Organization, which uses the money they raise for things like making sure kids have field trips, have a chess club*, having a community garden, and other important activities that enrich our children's education, but might not be in the school budget.
Additionally, we're going to have a live bluegrass band, "the Braddock Brothers," beginning at 9 p.m. The Braddock Brothers features Colfax-Dad-extraordinaire Steve Jacobs on the Saxophone. Think of him as Colfax's own Duke Silver. Another Dad extraordinaire is the Independent's own, and my brother, Matt Kurzweg. He doesn't play the saxophone, but he does like beer, which should help boost the numbers.
Saturday Night Negronis
Adam continues to push the cocktail envelope (I like to call it the "cocktailope"). It's Negroni week around the world. Participating bars all sell Negronis and pledge one dollar to a local charity from each sale. We are pledging to the Rainbow Kitchen in Homestead. As hopefully you've had the pleasure to know, we already sell carbonated, bottled negronis as part of our everyday cocktail menu. They are phenomenal. Perfectly balanced bitterness from the Campari, nice boozy punch from the gin. You should try one -- it's great for sidewalk sippin'. But Saturday, Adam is going to feature three different types of Negronis that he'll be making that evening, including one using Campari Cotton Candy, which he's whipping up on his newest toy, a cotton candy making machine. So, yeah. We're serving Campari Cotton F&*king Candy on Saturday.
Ok guys. Lots of drinking for good causes this week. Hope that you can join in the fun.
* This may shock you: I was an active member of the chess club all the way through the day I graduated high school. You can't overstate the importance of a good chess club to a school. Chess club taught me a lot. How to think. How to be patient. But I will mostly remember it for how it taught me to dress. I've been dressing "Chess Club Chic" ever since, and it's made all the difference.